Styling: Rebecca Newport
Photography: Ania Wawrzkowicz
Three early mornings in a row is a lot for me. It makes me feel like a real person, getting up and walking through campus at a time when hardly anyone else is yet up, certainly very few students. It puts so many extra hours in my day, and I’m not used to seeing the sun at that angle in the sky.
Also making me feel like a real person is my first-ever real job interview, the first that wasn’t super casual, the first that might actually lead to real employment. It was fine, but I think I buy just a little bit too much into the job-search anxiety that runs rampant on this campus. It’s not like the grade anxiety—I’m confident in my ability to do well in school. Much less confident in my ability to do well in the real world.
Though it’s not even that. It’s not worrying about doing well. It’s worrying about finding a place.
Unrelated: the Japan news is all terrifying, but this morning’s headline, “Radiation Leaks Said to Recede After Blast at Japan Nuclear Camp”—that horrified me more than the rest. I don’t know a whole lot about Japan, I’ll admit, but I do know that that is the Japanese national nightmare come true in a way that I can’t even begin to comprehend. It wasn’t a disaster, not on a large scale, not the nuclear problems at least, but my God, doesn’t that just open up the fears, the trauma?